ChChChChanges

Everyone is full of advice when you are having babies. They are all smiles and jokes about never sleeping again.  Your life will never be the same, they joke, and they are right! Babies are wonderful and magical and you will lose A LOT of sleep. Its a fantastic time!

However… no one tells you that they grow up so fast. It seems we just brought Zach home. He was all of 4lbs, so tiny and sweet, and now he is graduating. It’s an exciting and happy time, but Momma’s, it’s also a hard time. He is so excited about life, but when he talks about life, Mom is not the center. He talks about his own home, his future job, and wife and kids, and dreams. Its so fun to hear, but I know my role has changed. I am no longer his person. You know what I mean? When they are little the whole world revolves around Mom! It is full of Mom! Look what I did! and Mom! come see this! For a brief, brief moment you have all of their attention.

You see in truth you feel for that brief moment you have control, and lets face it, we take some comfort in that. In truth we never had, I never had any control. But… man, I liked the illusion of it.

It seems my whole life has been a lesson in letting go and letting God. I fight so hard to be in control, only to re-learn I never had any to begin with. In the moments that I let my guard down, I realize what a blessing it is to not be in control.

Why do I fight so hard?

I don’t know. All I do know is that the Lord has always and will always love Zach better than me. So in this season of happy and hard, I will sing, and praise my savior. For He knows the way is hard, and he knows my Momma heart is hurting, and bursting with pride at the same time.

I don’t know what season you are in, but I  don’t have to. God does, trust Him, even through your season of joyfully hard…..

What are you raising, grass or boys?

 

It’s funny what stays with you over the years. The gems that people unknowingly or sometimes by intent leave implanted in your brain.

Papaw made Zach a sandbox out of an old tractor tire for his 3rd birthday. He came over with a pickup full of sand and a tire he had painted. A most treasured gift to a little boy!

The problem you see is that I had just put sod down in the back yard. I did not pay to have it done, I had labored over the sod, loved it,watered it, and was so proud of the grass.

So you can see my delima when the sandbox arrived! I searched the yard for a place to put the tire that would not kill my grass. The only places available were not suitable to put a three year old. So I was at a stand still.

“Papaw, I just don’t know where to put it, I just put this sod in.” Now you should know I was thrilled about the sandbox, I knew Zach would love it. But I was torn, my little yard was really looking nice. But you see the nice thing about Papaws, they know the things in life that bring real joy and aren’t so easily torn. Papaw looked at me, and with a stern but loving voice asked, “Are you raising grass or boys?” Ouch!

The sandbox went right under the peach tree, that way it had plenty of shade.

I have never forgotten those words, over the years I have asked myself the same question in various forms many times. Are you putting the needs of the people you love above the stuff of life? If I answer honestly, it is often no. I get caught up in…well life.

I smile everytime I think about that day. Papaw taught me a life lesson with a simple question, and I have been reaping the rewards of it for years.

Today I am thankful that I am raising boys! and that I have Papaw to still give me wonderful words of wisdom!

So I leave you with this question “What are you raising today?”

 

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Edit:Papaw went home to Jesus this week. What a treasure, to have precious words of wisdom to hold onto. He was the kind of man I want  my boys to aspire to be. He loved the Lord first and it showed in all he did and said.