Everyone is full of advice when you are having babies. They are all smiles and jokes about never sleeping again. Your life will never be the same, they joke, and they are right! Babies are wonderful and magical and you will lose A LOT of sleep. Its a fantastic time!
However… no one tells you that they grow up so fast. It seems we just brought Zach home. He was all of 4lbs, so tiny and sweet, and now he is graduating. It’s an exciting and happy time, but Momma’s, it’s also a hard time. He is so excited about life, but when he talks about life, Mom is not the center. He talks about his own home, his future job, and wife and kids, and dreams. Its so fun to hear, but I know my role has changed. I am no longer his person. You know what I mean? When they are little the whole world revolves around Mom! It is full of Mom! Look what I did! and Mom! come see this! For a brief, brief moment you have all of their attention.
You see in truth you feel for that brief moment you have control, and lets face it, we take some comfort in that. In truth we never had, I never had any control. But… man, I liked the illusion of it.
It seems my whole life has been a lesson in letting go and letting God. I fight so hard to be in control, only to re-learn I never had any to begin with. In the moments that I let my guard down, I realize what a blessing it is to not be in control.
Why do I fight so hard?
I don’t know. All I do know is that the Lord has always and will always love Zach better than me. So in this season of happy and hard, I will sing, and praise my savior. For He knows the way is hard, and he knows my Momma heart is hurting, and bursting with pride at the same time.
I don’t know what season you are in, but I don’t have to. God does, trust Him, even through your season of joyfully hard…..
momtoboys 